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We all have bad days, but chronic unhappiness is toxic .
We all have bad days, but chronic unhappiness is toxic ... not only to those around you
but to yourself especially. Nobody wants to live an unhappy life, so why not change?
University of California researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky claims, “40 percent of our capacity
for happiness is within our power to change.” This means there’s hope for us all.
So what creates unhappiness? Your beliefs, attitude, behavior choices, and the way you
view the world. Sure, we all have moments of unhappiness but there are certain traits and
habits that chronically unhappy people do on a daily basis.
So how do you know if you’re one of these unhappy people? We’ve listed 10 traits and
habits that might help you identify whether or not you are one of them.
1. They live a pessimistic life. Unhappy people view their glass as half empty rather than
half full. Everything they do and everything they say is typically negative. They are less
likely to find amusement in life’s challenges and are definitely not one to laugh at their
2. They are judgmental. Those who are unhappy judge other people and place even
harsher judgment on themselves. If they make a mistake they beat themselves up inside
instead of accepting the fact that everyone has flaws and are human.
Additional reading: How to clear the negativity out of your practice
3. They worry constantly. People who are unhappy always assume something bad is going
to happen to them so they live a life of constant worry and fear. Instead of thinking what
might go right, they continuously think about what could go wrong.
4. They avoid whatever frightens them. Anything that is challenging or out of their comfort
zone will be avoided at all costs. Unhappy people aren’t up to the challenge to take any
risks. This means no counseling, no self-help books, and no self-improvement.
5. They hold onto grudges. If someone, somewhere violated them, you can bet an
unhappy person will maintain that hatred for life. Forgiveness and forget are not words
commonly used in their vocabulary.
Additional reading: 5 easy steps to help your team resolve conflict
See more traits on the next page...
6. They fill their conversations with gossip and complaints. The unhappy live in the past.
Life’s hardships are their conversation of choice. They gossip about other people to make
themselves feel better.
7. They believe most people can’t be trusted. Unhappy people think everyone is out to get
them, even their loved ones. They assume strangers can’t be trusted as well. This behavior
closes the door on all potential new connections and limits the chances of them making
any new friends.
8. They try to control every outcome of their life. Sure, it’s okay to try and achieve your
goals but in the end there’s very little control over what life hands us on a daily basis.
Unhappy people try to control every outcome and throw a dramatic tantrum when their
plans get changed.
9. They are jealous and compare themselves to others. Those who are unhappy believe
there is not enough goodness go around in the world. This leads to resentment of others.
Instead of praising other people for their unique talents, they look at them with envy.
10. They are victims. You know when a person is unhappy because they will constantly be
complaining that life is hard and the universe hates them. The unhappy tend to see
themselves as victims in life. They are always complaining about tough situations rather
than finding a solution.
Additional reading: 7 steps to improving leadership in the practice
If you think you may be a chronically unhappy person, the good news is you can change.
With a positive attitude and guidance from a coach, you can begin to live a happier life.
10 traits of chronically unhappy people who are as toxic as the plague